Don't Sweat the Small Stuff in Love : Simple Ways to Nurture, and Strengthen Your Relationships While Avoiding the Habits That Break down Your Loving Connection

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Format: Paperback
Pub. Date: 2000-10-18
Publisher(s): Hachette Books
List Price: $15.99

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Summary

Now available in paperback! The New York Times bestselling authors show readers how to feel like newlyweds every day. Hes helped 12 million people reduce the stress at home and at work. Now the #1 New York Times bestselling author of Dont Sweat the Small Stuff, Richard Carlsonwith Kristine, his wife of 14 yearsbring us a simple, stress-free approach to love. While depression, heartache, and anger are associated with love relationships, stress is rarely identified as a problem. Yet we all have concerns about our most important relationships. In one hundred brief, beautifully written essays, the authors show readers how not to overreact to a loved ones criticism, how to appreciate your spouse in new ways, how to get past old angers, and many other ways to improve and increase the joy and pleasure that can and should be part of any relationship.

Author Biography

Richard Carlson, Ph.D., is the author of the best-selling books Don't Sweat the Small Stuff; Don't Worry, Make Money; Don't Sweat the Small Stuff with Your Family; and Don't Sweat the Small Stuff at Work. He is a frequent guest on The Oprah Winfrey Show and The Today Show, along with other television and radio programs. Kristine Carlson has a gift for creating life-long relationships and is very dedicated to her family, friendships, and personal growth. She loves riding horses, running, and solitude. Richard and Kris have been married for fourteen years and this is their first book together. They live in Northern California with their two children.

Table of Contents

Introduction 1(5)
Mostly, Be Pals
5(3)
Learn to Laugh at Yourself
8(3)
Let It Go Already
11(3)
Turn Up the Heat
14(3)
Consider That the Grass Probably Isn't Greener
17(2)
Throw Away Your Scorecard
19(3)
Be Kind First (Kris)
22(3)
Don't Use Your Partner as a Punching Bag!
25(2)
Ask the Question, ``Whose Quirk Is This, Anyway?'' (Kris)
27(2)
Talk to Him His Way
29(3)
Avoid the Words, ``I Love You, BUT''
32(2)
Fill Your Life with Opportunities to Express Love
34(3)
Look for the Gifts
37(2)
Mark Your Calendar (Kris)
39(2)
Share an Insight
41(3)
Stay Away from Ultimatums
44(3)
Allow Time for Transitions
47(3)
Don't Fight Unless the Mood Is Right
50(4)
Know Your Own Value
54(3)
Put a Positive Spin on It
57(3)
Remember That Your Partner Can't Read Your Mind
60(2)
Set a Good Example (Kris)
62(2)
Don't Fight over Stupid Things
64(3)
Become a World-Class Listener
67(3)
Experience a Sudden Shift
70(3)
Avoid the ``I've Had a Really Hard Day'' Habit
73(2)
Let Him Buy His Lunch
75(3)
Surprise Her with Compliments
78(3)
Stop Wishing She (or He) Were Different
81(3)
Don't Put Your Partner On the Spot
84(3)
Think Before You Speak
87(3)
Discover What Part You Are Playing
90(3)
Finish the Job
93(2)
Think Gentle Thoughts
95(2)
Stay Compassionate
97(3)
Jump-Start Your Relationship
100(2)
Don't Allow Passing Thoughts to Turn into Issues
102(3)
Become a Low-Maintenance Partner
105(3)
Do It Your Way
108(3)
Wake Up and Think about Three Things You Love about Her
111(2)
Choose Peace over Irritation
113(3)
Don't Sweat the Occasional Criticism
116(3)
Stay Playful
119(2)
Stop Rehearsing Unhappiness
121(3)
Don't Be the Hero of Every Story
124(3)
Make the Fresh-Start Commitment
127(2)
Avoid Correcting Each Other
129(3)
Sit in Silence
132(2)
Take Responsibility for Your Own Happiness
134(3)
Master the Art of the Heart-to-Heart
137(3)
Don't Confuse Your Own Frustration with a Problem in the Relationship
140(3)
Stop Being So Defensive
143(3)
Be Consistently Grateful
146(2)
Don't Fall into the ``I've Got Time for Everyone but You'' Trap
148(3)
Organize a Charitable Project Together
151(3)
Ask Yourself the Question, ``In the Scheme of Things, Is This Really That Big a Deal?''
154(2)
Don't Continue Doing the Same Things and Expect a Different Result
156(3)
Respond with Love
159(3)
Look in the Mirror
162(3)
Allow Your Partner to Be Human
165(3)
Make Peace with Change
168(3)
Don't Overanalyze the Flaws
171(2)
Choose to Be Supportive (Kris)
173(2)
Jump Ahead and Look Back
175(3)
Remember the Equation: A Happy Person Equals a Happy Partner
178(3)
Ask for ``Dream Updates''
181(2)
Never Underestimate the Power of Love
183(3)
Don't Let Your Children Come between You
186(3)
Learn to Deflect Occasional Uncalled-for Comments
189(3)
Don't Come Home Frazzled
192(3)
Ask Your Partner the Question, ``What's the Most Difficult Part of Being in a Relationship with Me?''
195(3)
Don't Question Her (or His) Motives
198(3)
Graciously Receive Compliments
201(2)
Let Go of Your Top Three Pet Peeves
203(2)
Avoid Absolute Statements (of a Negative Nature)
205(2)
Predict the Predictable
207(2)
Stop Treating Everything Like an Emergency
209(2)
Use Letters as a Communication Tool
211(3)
Don't Make Your Partner Walk on Eggshells
214(3)
Make a Plan to Become More Loving
217(3)
Gracefully Accept Apologies
220(2)
Reflect, for a Moment, on All You Don't Do
222(3)
Practice Regular Stress Prevention
225(3)
Don't Speak for Your Spouse (or Boyfriend, Girlfriend, Fiancee, or Anyone Else)!
228(2)
Conspire to Inspire
230(2)
Cast Away Jealousy (Kris)
232(3)
Allow Your Partner a Few Eccentricities
235(3)
Stop Being So Demanding
238(2)
When in Doubt, Pause
240(2)
Practice Unconditional Love
242(3)
Go Ahead and Do It
245(2)
Say the Words, ``I'm Sorry''
247(3)
Stay Away from Comparisons
250(2)
Learn from a Teen
252(3)
Step Aside from Stubbornness
255(2)
Raise Your Standard of Living
257(3)
Allow Your Partner the Space to ``Lose it'' Every Once in a While
260(2)
Balance the Act (Kris)
262(3)
Remember the Magic
265(2)
Treasure Each Other
267

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